I’m sure some of you out there may have heard of this thing called Facebook. Is that a fair assumption? Then let me begin…..
<rant> Don’t get me wrong, I am all for Facebook – and I spend quite a lot of time on there – but what really boils my piss about it is that people take it way too seriously. Personally, I use the wretched, life consuming site for the following reasons:-
- To kill a bit of time
- Banter with friends
- To entertain people (yes, sad i know, but I like to think some people may take amusement in my nonsense posts)
- A photo dump
What I do not use the site for is as follows:-
- To relentlessly spam the living daylights out of anyone unfortunate enough to be my ‘friend’
- To live out my personal life to said ‘friends’
The latter two (excellently formatted if I may say so) bullet points are going to be the focus of this rant.
SPAMMERS
First, I have no problem with people trying to make a living, and telling the world about their business and what they do which may interest you. That is cool. What I do have a problem with is the same crap being rammed down your throat 24/7. Yes, I heard the first time, and the 767th time. There is no need to carry on. I like to see what interesting people are up to on there, and I find myself sifting through endless reams of bollocks, just to get at the bits i’m interested in.
MY LIFE IN A STATUS UPDATE AND THE VOMIT INDUCERS
Two opposite ends of the spectrum here.
The first, feels that the world is about to cave in around them and that the only option is to feed themselves into a bacon slicer and just put themselves out of their God forsaken misery. Look, I can appreciate he/she may have dumped you, or you may be getting some shit at home/work, but that is what your friends are for. Be normal. Go to the pub, or round a mates’ house. Have a cry if you need to, and just talk it out. Is there really any need to broadcast it all over the internet? I am grumpy enough so the last thing I want is to be confronted by more misery every time I open my web browser (ironic much?)
The second, feels as though they live in Utopia. And they have just won a quintuple rollover on the Euro Millions. Fair enough, you are happy. You are in a stable relationship and/or you have just got married and/or had a baby. Well done. You are capable of getting on with a member of the opposite (or same) sex, you are capable of having sex and getting pregnant. This is great news. For you. My life would amble on perfectly happily without being privy to this information, thank you very much. I am happy for you - and I genuinely mean that – but what do you expect me to do? Pop open the Moet & Chandon? Do a little song and dance? Lobby for an extra bank holiday? Ich don’t think so. There are far more serious concerns in my life – like where to buy Oranjeboom.
I can appreciate there is horrific irony in this post, but if you have a sit down and think about it, peel away the thick coating of said irony, you know I’m fucking right.</rant>
Until next time…….
Jimsan
about the irony, the difference being is that I came here to read it – it wasn’t rammed down my throat without my permission (oohh eerr)
There are some really annoying status’ at the minute ranging from “oh my baby just did a little burp isn’t he/she brilliant” to “ohhhhhhhhh god my life is so rubbish I want to die” posts, just how rubbish is your life? To these people I say take a fucking look around you buddy, you might be going through a rough patch right now but seriously, have a look around. Go to the local fucking cancer hospital or pick up a copy of national geographic, yeah your job might be shit – but at least you have fucking legs you selfish prick.
ahhhhh
I feel better now, thanks Jim.
So hold on, keep your emo, melancholic thoughts to yourself and don’t mention any major life announcements. Leaving what?
“I’d like to be in the pub right now”?
“Off to bed now, see you tomorrow”?
“I wish I had more choice than egg sandwiches at lunch today”?
Yup, that’s the stuff that we really want to see!
While I understand your overall angle on the Facebook status updates, it seems like you want to dismiss all genuinely interesting announcements as well as the pointless ones – of which you are also a fair contributor to, might I add.
Also, it’s very simple to hide all of the crap that you don’t want to read.
Oooh touche Aaronio.
I always proclaim to be a fair contributor to the pointless postings. Guilty as charged
And I do like the spam button
I am a fully pledge spammer
That is all………………………
Only you facebook as promotions now “Since my page is now owned” apparently. Twitter is the future real people real thoughts and no “get on it! Or “come to our pub/club”
I will never spam twitter